Two Babies and A Big Girl

Tim Bordeaux —  November 26, 2012 — Leave a comment

One week ago we sat down as a family and watched old home movies. We had documented and edited the kids’ first steps and first words, birthdays and holidays, and times of dancing, singing, and playing. The kids could hardly believe the little people on the video were themselves, and Kelly and I would make comments about what they were like at each age.

Our kids ate it up. They absolutely loved it.

I was surprised by how much it affected them. They were so excited to see what they used to be like, and enjoyed laughing and mimicking themselves. But what seemed to affect them the most was seeing how enthralled Kelly and I were with them on the video. At different times they would snuggle in closer to us, and this whole past week they have been extra cuddly and loving.

But the thing is, our kids have no idea how we really feel about them.

They know they are loved, but they don’t know we love them to the moon and back. They can’t grasp the intensity of our feelings for them. They don’t realize we would do anything for them, that we wouldn’t hesitate to die for them, or how impossible it would be for us to live without them.

I resonate with what Elizabeth Stone once said about being a parent: “It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”

At this stage of their lives, they simply don’t have the perspective to fully understand how loved and cherished they are. And it really has nothing to do with anything other than that they are our Addi, Levi, and Micah.

Maybe someday if they have children of their own they will know these kinds of feelings.

You and I are in the same boat when it comes to how God, our Heavenly Father, feels about us.

You have no idea how God really feels about you.

Sure, you know He loves you, and maybe that thought moves you to tears, but you still can’t fully grasp how loved and cherished you are.

Sure, you know all about Christmas and Easter, and maybe you have experienced some of the most overwhelming, intimate times with God, but you are still incapable of comprehending the fullness of God’s love for you. And it really has nothing to do with anything other than that you are His.

Maybe someday when we are finally face to face with Him we will be better able to understand that kind of love. But I would guess not.

It will have to be enough to know we are loved. And to long for those times of intimacy and enjoy those grace-filled moments when we feel His love. And to share that love with the world that God loves just as much as He loves you and me.

Tim Bordeaux

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